I'm having writers block. I started a few pieces for The Art of Ed online magazine, for my graduate school, for this blog and realize, my hearts not in it. The only cure for a case of writers block this bad is a little sleep, good food, art making and adventures with Stella!
I also decided that producing weekly post probably wasn't what I should be doing this summer. It wouldn't be fair to you or me. So you won't find me on The Art of Ed anymore. I LOVE Jessica and the magazine, but after really taking a hard look at myself I decided I needed to take some things off my plate. I needed to get honest with my priorities. Numero uno Stella and me.
I still will be blogging (it's a lot different to me then writing an article.) I love the network of friends (shout out Phyl, Mini Matisse and Sharpie Woman) who I can connect with through our blogs.
I have been a single mom for a couple months now while my husband opens his restaurant, have been working as hard as I can during school hours to get everything done, taking care of a dog, a one year old AND a house, and dealing with a lot of what I would call "tough breaks" that I'm trying to shake off. All this sounds pretty dismal, but it is ending up to be the BEST thing that ever happened to me (besides Stella.) I can't put my finger on what the changed, but I can tell you I've been waiting my whole life for this. I have always been a nice, respectful, sensitive and kind person. It always bugged me. Lately though, I don't have the time or energy to be the person I was. I have finally gotten to the point in my life where I really and truly don't care about what other people think. I have been shocking myself (and cracking myself up) with some of the blatant things I come out with that I would have never had the guts to say before (but should have!) Lately I can barely even turn it off when I need to. I am actually rooting my new found self on. I am so proud of her for finally standing up for herself and making choices that make her life better (and telling people who step over the line to back off.)
So in the spirit of being authentic to myself I am not going to be posting until I really feel like it, when I really feel like it. There are some things I can't take off my plate. . . but for now I'm going to ride this wave.