Easter is one of my favorite holidays (the other is Halloween, contradictory I know. . .but I like costumes!) To get back to the point, Easter, it has a lot of meaning to me, especially this year. It's a time for new beginnings. Tomorrow is the last day of my maternity leave. I go back to work the day after Easter, a new beginning for me. I can't help but make the connection.
Easter means spring is here. Spring is the best time of year in New England. Just when you think the winter will never end; when you've pulled out your suitcases; when you're ready to head south and leave these cold New England winters forever; here she comes, SPRING! Living in New England is trying but frustratingly poetic. You kind of need the winter struggle to enjoy the beauty that spring brings.
When I found out I was pregnant I felt like a caterpillar in the winter. . . I felt like life was over. How will I be able to do this? How will I be able to be good at my job if I have the responsibilities of being a mom? I love working so much and have so many dreams for myself and now it was over. But the caterpillar could never imagine what was about to happen next and I could never imagine the transformation of my life. Baby Stella is more than anything I could have dreamed up. Life is not "over" with Stella, I feel like my life is finally beginning. I'm still learning her. Like the way she makes a fist when she's hungry and how she smiles, giggles and "talks" only once in the morning (you have to enjoy it!) It's so funny how quickly you can change roles from a teacher to a learner in the presence of kids.
Now, I'm about to start teaching and being a Mom this Monday. Taking the two things I love the most, teaching and Stella and trying to make time for both, how will I do it? Change is scary. But it is the uncertainty that lets me know that I'm growing even if I don't know how. I'm ready for what Monday will bring.
I think. . .